


Doubts

by Shinigamibutter



Series: Tattooed Souls [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sometimes the long road is the best road, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tattoos, rated for one teenie tiny sex bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 05:23:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19457245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinigamibutter/pseuds/Shinigamibutter
Summary: Minhyuk has doubts, but why wouldn't he when the mark from his soulmate is the name of a woman.





	Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second the Tattooed Souls series, which means there are two more. I ran or am running a poll for whose next on my Twitter. All the pieces are plotted waiting to be written. 
> 
> Anymore oneshots are so much easier. Maybe I should just give my longer series days.

Minhyuk frowned at his reflection in the mirror, there was an uneasy feeling sinking into his stomach the longer he stared. What was wrong had hit him first thing, but he was still reeling from the shock of his discovery. What it meant, what it was. He almost didn't want to believe it. But no matter how many times he blinked it didn't go away. It was there, a dark line along his body truly a mark upon his soul. Well, really it was more accurately a name scrawled across his ribs, a woman's name. A name he couldn't place a face to. He knew it must be a name important to his soulmate. 

The thought stung, in a way he knew his feelings echoed the pain of getting a tattoo. Maybe the same pain the recipient had felt getting it, and seeing that there was no matching tattoo on the woman. Or maybe not. He forced himself to look away from the mirror in the manner he forced his thoughts away from that line of thinking. A woman's name didn't mean it was romantic, even if the placement, near the heart, implied such. He knew, even if it felt farfetched, that it could be something different than his thoughts. 

He didn’t want to think about it anymore, he didn’t want to think about it ever again if he were honest. But the thoughts chased him through the school day as he made his way from one class to the next. A campus full of strangers surrounding him. Well, they weren’t all strangers but today they felt like it as he lingered on his thoughts. It was only the second day of a new semester and it had already been marred by the discovery of a soul mark on his body. A mark that at one point he never thought he’d see and now that he had he wished he hadn’t. 

Thankfully his friends knew better than to ask him what was wrong, having learned the hard way that him snapping at them was more likely to happen than him opening up. He’d tell them in due time. He just wasn’t sure how. Or if the words of comfort they’d offer him would work any better than the ones he was offering himself. The logic of everyone dates and maybe it’s someone in his family could only go so far in the face of the mark, in the face of a woman’s name on his skin. 

Minhyuk had finally stopped thinking about it, or mostly stopped by the time he got to his last class of the day. A communications class that was as insightful as it was fun, because the professor of the class actually cared about the subject. While a lot of his professors cared, they didn’t seem to be thrilled teaching the subject instead of working in the field. Which he understood, really. But he, himself was rather excited to both work in the field and hopefully teach others to do the same one day. 

The class itself wasn’t the only reason that Minhyuk was able to let go of his thoughts though. It was also the fact there was someone in it that looked to be having a worse day than him. And he was kind of hard to miss as he sat moping two seats down and to the right of where Minhyuk had found a seat. Well, that wasn’t the only reason. Broad shoulders, a shirt maybe a little too tight to be decent, and the most boyishly charming smile Minhyuk had ever seen the day before had already caught his attention. And after that Wonho was hard to overlook. 

Still he did find it a little serendipitous that their moods were currently the same and it gave him an excuse to talk to him. Or would give him an excuse once class was over he hoped. The soul mark under his shirt was just a mark now, even if it meant he had a soulmate. After all, if it was a lover’s name it didn’t mean they would split up just because they weren’t soulmates. He’d seen several couples with different soulmate tattoos around campus in his first year here. For he knew just as well as everyone else knew, that having a mark didn’t make finding the match for it all that much easier. 

Those were the thoughts that carried him through the class, most of his notes a mess of scribbled over comforts to himself as he intermittently stared at Wonho. Who had only looked his way once, and thankfully seemed to think he was staring at the person to his right. It wasn’t true but Minhyuk wasn’t exactly going to tell him that either. He was after all quite gay. And while the woman on the right was attractive, she was still a woman. Then before he knew it class was ending and his window to talk to the other male was closing.

An excuse he was going to use as a pickup line that never came, as instead he blurted more than suggested he and Wonho should get a cup of coffee. An idea met with a very confused look, more than a little wariness, and finally a nod of approval. Along with an admission that maybe coffee would do him some good. Which then led to the most awkward twenty minutes of Minhyuk’s life as he tried to find a safe topic that was limited to the little bit he knew about the other. Which was what he’d said in his self introduction the day before and was made completely obvious by Wonho’s body.

Suffice it to say Minhyuk was hating himself as they finally found a seat and he’d listened to Wonho list seven different muscle groups. Or something like that which he didn’t understand. But he found himself listening adamantly anyway because Wonho was smiling again and it made his knees weak. And he was entirely too grateful they’d sat down by the time a silence had fallen between them, one much more comfortable than the first. A silence that made Minhyuk feel comfortable enough to be honest. 

“I asked you to coffee because you seemed kind of down in class today.” Minhyuk felt his cheeks flush as he admitted his intentions out loud but when he glanced at Wonho he didn’t seem upset. If anything he had smiled wider than Minhyuk knew how to handle, and he found himself thankful once more that they were sitting down. With the way his heart fluttered he wasn’t sure he could have remained on his feet. 

“Actually it’s funny you’d say that,” Wonho’s voice was full of warmth and amusement and Minhyuk felt his heart stop with the short pause between words. His hands clutching a little tighter around the styrofoam cup of coffee he was nursing. “I agreed because you looked like you were just as down as me.” After saying as such Minhyuk watched Wonho take a long swig of coffee, a small knowing smile curled around the lip of the lid. A quiet, “You don’t have to talk about it,” quickly followed.

For a second Minhyuk questioned if he should, if really there was anything to lose by doing so. If Wonho would even believe him, after all a soulmark was rare. With maybe two thirds of the population without a soulmate or a disinclination towards tattoos they weren’t all that common. Which meant there were disbelievers in abundance. But having already told his best friend via text, not that Jooheon had replied to him yet, he felt maybe it was okay to share. Wonho struck him as a fairly open minded guy after all. “Do you believe in soulmarks?” 

Still, to play it safe he led with a question instead and not even a second after the words had left his mouth did he regret them. Wonho’s smile fell, a broken shadow of what had been a happy face taking over. The look made Minhyuk’s chest tight with blame. But the look was gone as quickly as it had been. A solemn nod was his only reply and he was no longer sure he wanted to be honest. No longer sure that his own mood wasn’t still where Wonho’s was, hidden underneath the mask of a smile. “I do.” He answered quietly and neither of them said anything for a moment.

That moment seemed to stretch between them breaking the rapport they’d been building, and Minhyuk felt and saw as they both found sad small smiles to fill the distance. “My girlfriend dumped me over a soulmark.” Wonho’s words felt abrupt in that moment, a backhand to the silence but Minhyuk was grateful for them. Grateful for the honesty. And he wondered, just for a moment if he’d suffer a fate like that with someone who didn’t share his mark just because he had one. 

“I’m sorry.” His condolence was heartfelt and for a moment they felt alone on an island, a table lost in the sea of people rushing to get their own coffee or to their next class. “I’ll listen if you want to talk about it.” He wasn’t sure where the words had come from, but they made Wonho smile again. A lot less boyish and a lot less whole, but it was a smile. And for a moment, just a moment everything was right again. Then Wonho was talking, opening up in a way he confessed he hadn’t thought he would even while doing so. 

Minhyuk found himself listening, truly listening as his new classmate told him about his girlfriend. From how long they’d been together to their venture to a tattoo parlor that had ended in their break-up. And while Minhyuk listened he wondered, just briefly after hearing the woman’s name, if maybe Wonho was the one who had gotten the tattoo that mirrored his soulmark. He didn’t have the courage to ask. He didn’t have the heart to ask. Instead he listened, his thoughts scattering the moment Wonho’s voice stopped. 

* ~ * * ~ * * ~ *

One coffee had turned into a coffee after every class. Minhyuk wasn’t complaining but he did wonder how they got there after the awkward goodbye they’d had after Wonho’s heartfelt break up story. Not to mention the awkwardness of the first class after that where they’d glanced at each other the whole time without ever saying a word. Then ended up walking together to same on campus coffee shop and sitting at the exact same table. And after that he supposed the rest was history. But what had brought them together wasn’t. Not fully.

Minhyuk wasn’t sure that either of them would truly be okay for awhile, but slowly, he stopped worrying about what the woman’s name on him stood for. Who it stood for and if that woman was still with his soulmate. Or if she was someone equally as important as a lover. It didn’t matter, as he slowly watched Wonho heal from the abandonment of his girlfriend. For there was no other way Minhyuk could look at it. With them having dated for over a year, a soulmark wasn’t going to make their relationship and he thought it was a cheap way to end love. He never said it out loud though.

Instead he listened as Wonho complained and he found himself opening up as well. Though he could never quite confess that the name sprawled across his ribs was the same name Wonho had gotten tattooed upon himself. There were moments he wanted to, moments he felt like they were the only ones who existed and that maybe, just maybe Wonho was his soulmate. But he couldn’t bring himself to say so. He couldn’t bring himself to risk the budding friendship, relationship they were starting on something that had hurt Wonho so deeply. He didn’t want to share his doubts. 

So he didn’t. Instead he was there, a table and a coffee cup between them as the weeks turned into months. As the conversations drifted from ex girlfriends to new found loves in other places. From their majors to their home lives. And whatever else lay between. To their mutual friend Jooheon who was in the same department as Wonho. Both of them working to be producers. 

* ~ * * ~ * * ~ *

In the end balance was a delicate thing and a tightrope that Minhyuk found himself walking with Wonho. Months had turned into a year without his notice. And a year still hadn’t seen his confession, hadn’t ended his doubts. He still found himself wondering, worrying, and looking for his soulmate. Even though he’d long ago confessed to Jooheon that he thought Wonho was it. That he’d already fallen for the other’s god-like body, charming smile, and more than just a little soft personality. But everytime he looked in the mirror he doubted. 

Then just as things started, a bad mood and one awkward approach, they were moving in a lurch forward. One single sentence that left Minhyuk reeling in the same way he sure his approach had left Wonho a year ago. “Jooheon told me what your soulmark is.” The words had been soft, the tone they were said in was not. And Minhyuk found himself choking on coffee as he looked across the table to the serious eyes of the man he was already in love with. “Show me.” 

Minhyuk had only been able to nod, he couldn’t find any words with which to express himself and instead followed Wonho to what felt like his doom. He wasn’t sure he could handle being wrong, to know for sure that Wonho was just a man he loved, and that they weren’t bound the way he wanted them to be. For in that moment he couldn’t find the hope that he’d been clinging too from the first moment he’d heard Wonho’s ex’s name. Though he could feel, and see that Wonho was already convinced of what he would find. That, Minhyuk knew, would make it hurt worse.

When they reached the locker room, the one that Wonho frequented because it was often the most empty, Minhyuk found himself unable to look him in the eye. He found himself swallowed by doubts, and more than a little self conscious as he shed his bag. Standing straight he reminded himself of all the thoughts he’d had before. That it didn’t matter if the marks matched, that it didn’t matter as long as there was love. He wasn’t sure there was, but he still lifted his shirt anyway. Eyes closed tightly as he tried not to think about how less defined he was than Wonho.

There was a sharp intake of breath in answer, that almost had Minhyuk opening his eyes. But he didn’t, couldn’t bring himself to look. He was too afraid of the disappointment or maybe the rejection on Wonho’s face. Then there were fingers tracing the name he’d traced himself too many times to count. Gentle, loving, and warm against his skin, the contact had him forcing himself to look. He hadn’t expected the warm teary smile that greeted him, or the press of soft lips against his own. But he wasn’t against them as he felt Wonho’s body pressing up against his. 

“I knew you were the one.” The words caught Minhyuk off guard, almost as much as the hand on his chest drifting lower, more assured than the touch before. “I’m glad you are the one.” Wonho’s voice was hot and heavy against his ear and Minhyuk felt himself melting into it as his body met the wall behind him, lips dangling just out of reach when Wonho pulled back to look at him. “This is my mark.” Wonho bent down to kiss the mark on Minhyuk’s chest and he couldn’t help but groan at the contact. 

It was all too easy for Minhyuk to watch silently as Wonho shed his own shirt revealing the tattoo that had led to his soulmark. To know the story behind it, the pain, and to be grateful he’d help heal it. “I...I wanted it to be you.” Minhyuk finally found his voice as he let his fingers trail over the tattoo, Wonho’s skin was warm. Almost as warm as his own as need grew between them. A need that had been building up slowly over the last year. A need he fully intended to satisfy even if it was on the floor of a college locker room. 

Their lips came together after that in a way that defied words, that took Minhyuk’s breath away just by the very nature of knowing who he was kissing. Of knowing who was kissing him. And how complete that made them. The doubts were gone, replaced by the knowledge that the soulmark had truly brought them together, had done more than just showed they were one. Had done more than Minhyuk could express as he moved his body against the one pinning his to the wall, against the man he’d been dreaming of ever since the mark had appeared. 

It was with passion, heated kisses, and a lot of friction that Minhyuk confessed. I love you's filling the air between moans, sighs, and noises that really had no right to be made in a locker room of all places. But he no longer cared, there were no more doubts. And knowing Wonho the way he did he knew there never would be again. Wonho would never allow them. And as he stood there, Wonho’s hot and exhausted body pressed against his own hot and exhausted body, he was grateful that the woman whose name he’d always bear had been stupid enough to let go of the strong arms holding him now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts appreciated. And no this isn't like every other soulmate series I've done. I hope you're enjoying that. ❤


End file.
